I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
