Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
