I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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