alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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