just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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