9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
