just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
