and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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