Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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