So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize