She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
