What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
