Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
