best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
