i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
there is puke in my bra ... again
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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