She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
