Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
