My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
