So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
