He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
