Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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