I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
