you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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