It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize