operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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