"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
