i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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