Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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