So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
