Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
People in love make me want to vomit
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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