Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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