that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
