Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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