He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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