This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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