she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
