it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
