just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
