I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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