Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
