i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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