So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
