Redeem this text for a blowjob
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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