maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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