You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My dick has a subreddit
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
