I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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