Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
