it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
