Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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