btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
