he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
