I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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