Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
