im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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