nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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