From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
